Sexuality and Sex Magick

I might take a while to get to the point here, but bear with me, Please. (And all the people who know me say "So what else is new?" and wander off to get drinks and popcorn while they wait for me to get somewhere interesting.)

A little while ago- maybe three months ago- I came out, after discovering a few things about myself. I was researching a few little bits and pieces, and then found a whole string of "symptoms" that fitted me pretty damned well, and gave me this wonderful sense of relief that I was not, as it were, screwed up over sex psychologically, neither was I having some kind of medical issue (and boy, wasn't having that investigated embarrassing)- it was the way I was wired. So, for those of you that don't know, I am Grey-A Asexual. And happy to be so.

Sooo... this had led me to some thoughts and explorations earlier. It's made me a better lover, I know that, as there's no point in me going into it for my own pleasure, as the physical act doesn't do anything for me. I might as well have a strap-on attached to me for all the good it does. But I *do* get a lot of pleasure from giving others pleasure and that's about as much of my sex life as you lot are going to get. This leads on to, almost naturally, a mystical vein: What does this mean for Sex Magick?

From what knowledge I have and researching the subject (and there is much research still do to, promising to be very very entertaining) a standard method of this practice is using the sublimated energy of your lover's orgasm to power a spell. The trick, it has always been said, is not to lose control, otherwise the spell goes nowhere and all your preparations have come to naught. (Other than some fun.)

So for those of us for whom sex is something where we *cannot* lose emotional control, for whom the orgasm is simply a spasm that other people have, it would make sense, surely, for us to explore this thoroughly? And not in a salacious sense. We should, if we are competent in our sorceries, be more than capable of capturing and directing this erotic energy in the directions that we want- which is where the darker side of this maybe rears its head.

Are there, out there, pick-up artist magicians who will utilise such energies as their standard practices? Do they hop from bar to bar looking for a willing "sacrifice" (hmmm, possibly literal Virgin sacrifice?) to make their desires real? I have absolutely no doubt that there are some unscrupulous people out there who would. And you can't say that "Ever heard of Sex Magick?" isn't an interesting line to use- but that's a digression. I'm not trying to raise the rather silly spectre of asexual sorcerers causing all kinds of havoc, partly because the Daily Mail would be all over that like custard on apple crumble, and I don't want to give them ideas. But if I can think of it then others can.

Personally, I think the idea of using someone like that to be reprehensible. Completely and utterly indefensible. If nothing else, I think that all people actively involved in a Working ought to know exactly what they're doing, why, and be in agreement to it. It's... unethical, for want of a better term.

And then, a few weeks ago, I came across saw a post by Rufus Opus. The post in question was all about the Red Goddess, Babalon (who now seems to be as dear to his heart as Lilith is to mine). I quote- and if you have read this far, you are hopefully old enough to read such things:

 "Drivers, you cum, you lose. Relax. Don't do it. Orgasm's ok, but not the cumming. Keep your seed inside. Pay attention. To the foundations of the Kingdom. Your heavenly constellations are buried in the roots of your Kingdom, man. Dig deeper. See the Stars.

"Driven, you come, you score. The Cup wins every time.

"And Babalon's sitting there, just trying to get pregnant the whole time. On purpose. And you've got to respect that, and give her something to bring into being. You will give her something, I guarantee it. What will it be?

"Nothing less than all you are will suffice, nothing less than all you do. Consciously, and on purpose.

"It's what you're here for, to live in Her, United for the sake of Love.

"And gents, when you're not fucking, don't cum. Don't jack off. Let the pressure grow and be transformed. In three days it turns into something else, something beyond fucking. Something holy that can be channeled as you Will. Plug that into seals in your throat chakra for some in-ter-est-ing stuff when you're nowhere near the priestess."

And this is where it gets interesting. You see those two parts that I've highlighted? (In appropriate colours, no less.) Those are significant.You see, as some of you know, I believe I have, myself, had a brush with said Egregore. I am no expert, but the similarities/potentials were pointed out to me by the same person who gave Mr. Opus some pointers as to dealing with Babalon, and it brings me to considering certain things.

If Babalon is, as was said, trying to get pregnant all the time, does that mean that we, we unusually-wired few, are not well-suited to dealing with said deity? Those of us who have limited sexual desire, who do not feel the urge like many do? I can get right behind the "United for the sake of Love" part, as for me, sex is simply an absolute extension of said feeling. But what I have read of Babalon says that orgasm is integral.

It's a fascinating question. Are Asexuals people who should politely refuse when The Red Goddess comes calling? Or is it the act of sex that satisfies her, rather than the Orgasm?

Either way, I believe that you can't properly understand Babalon without Knowing Lilith first. (But that may be just me.) I believe that they are flip sides of the same coin; one fiery and passionate, the other cool and calculating. One thing is for certain: they are both intensely sexual (and sensual!) deities.

I may have made a massive fool of myself here in my understanding of this topic, but I have been coming at it from a very unusual perspective. And again, I hope that you find it enlightening.